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What if you allowed yourself? What if you just did it The thing you shouldn’t do Instead of the internal battle You surrender I heard a story of a horse that walked backwards The owner would kick in his heels Frustrated and off balance
i’m coming out… again you see, mum, dad, friends i’m not just a life coach i’m a spiritual life coach behind your backs i’ve been fooling around with older men like alan watts and ram dass christ, i’ve even flirted with him forget the binaries
What feeling are you unwilling to feel right now? I heard this question in a podcast by Tara Brach and it really struck a chord with me. In moments of anxiety or fear or insecurity I find that my mind becomes stimulated. Whirring thoughts are unpleasant but it seems as if I unconsciously prefer this to the discomfort of a feeling. If I’m lost in thought, I can ask myself this question, welcome the feeling, and bring love to it.
No one ever talks about our sixth sense: interoceptive awareness. This is what lets us "feel" what's happening inside us. It senses things like our heartbeat, our breathing, whether we're hungry or full, or when we're feeling happy or scared. Interoceptive awareness helps us make smart choices. For example, when you feel thirsty, that's your interoceptive awareness telling you to drink water.
How did I get this so wrong? Forgiveness isn’t for the other person. It’s for you, so you can release the emotion. The point of boundaries is to let people in, not to keep them out. Discipline is choosing what you most want over what you want now.
Yesterday came over me like a hot air balloon over the horizon New things felt possible, which really were old things revisited But inbetween a sleep, everything changed I woke up today in a new feeling, which really is an old feeling A background hue of sadness, layered with the blues and yellows of loss and longing I recognise this palette from my youth The avoidance setting in, the desire to sleep in, to procrastinate
You will never come up with the right business idea In fact, your idea doesn’t matter. At all. I used to fantasise about becoming an entrepreneur. I told myself I would make the jump if I just had the right idea. The classic advice is to solve a problem that you’re having. But this led me down the path of starting an online shop for vegan protein bars because I found them hard to buy.
if you don’t allow yourself to get triggered You’ll never allow yourself to heal the wound So stop denying your self-sabotage Have that piece of cake Message your ex Watch that porno But just do one thing — Do it mindfully
I’ve always been fascinated by unconsciousness. Why is it so hard to do what I want to do? Why do I keep self-sabotaging? Why am I unhappy in a life where I’m supposedly the main character? Do I not have any control? Perhaps this unconscious part of me longed to be known. And in its own way, introduced me to meditation. Getting to that point felt like chaos.
i’ve heard it time and time again someone will avoid conflict because they don’t want to hurt the other person but then what happens? they silently retreat they bottle up their feelings until one day it bursts
Do the things that bring you joy So simple Too simple I’ve spent much of my life in search of meaning Changing careers and countries And after doing something I thought should be deeply meaningful… I felt nothing Just empty
If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else? Wise words. Except, throughout my 20s, I didn’t know how to love myself. I had a fraught relationship with my mind, my body, and the parts of me that caused me shame. It felt like an internal battle going on. It’s no wonder that I looked outside myself for love, whether from a partner, material possession or status that I thought would bring me the happiness I desired.
“we do not see things as they are. we see them as we are” — anais nin i wonder if the reason techno-feudal-lords are so afraid of ai is because they have made it in their image we project our suppressed selves and across a web of intelligent code they see a psychopath in the making but perhaps there is benevolence instead
Notice how the homeless person Becomes invisible You know they’re there But you don’t look at them Their presence is too uncomfortable So you shut down your natural empathy And turn a blind eye to reality And similarly
i used to be a chronic overthinker spending hours comparing models if i bought a computer speaker i would plan out conversations and what directions to take them while washing in the shower not knowing how to do something or how it would pan out
Pain is asking for protection That’s what my physio said When I came in hobbling after an injury In just a few words I saw the world differently And the frustration I felt towards my foot Turned to compassion This poor thing
Behavioral patterns are pathways of least resistance. We walk through an overgrown field by following the footpath. To break a pattern, you need to learn to handle discomfort. You need to leave the path behind and walk through wilderness with brambles at your legs. If you’ve trained yourself to avoid discomfort, you’ll continue to return to the familiar path. So get in the habit of doing hard things, like taking cold showers, running longer distances, or doing the hardest thing on your to do list.
Pistachios teach us something important If you had a bag full of shelless pistachios You’d eat them all and feel sick Having to work for each pistachio Makes them taste all the better And helps to moderate our impulses So it is is with our nervous system It’s a natural break
If you constantly procrastinate on the things that matter, read this. We all have dreams like writing a book, travelling, starting a business or a creative project. And yet we kick the can down the road. If that’s truly what we wanted, why would we do that? The answer: resistance. Resistance shows up when we’re about to step outside of our comfort zone. It’s fear but it presents itself as rational-sounding thoughts.
School conditioned me To want to get it right But in life There is no right Only currents that blow me Across uncharted territory Expansive possibility Whatever feels good to me
Picture this… your friend keeps making plans with you. But then bails at the last moment. They always have the same tired excuses. Something came up. They’re feeling exhausted. They totally forgot. For a little while you put up with it. But then you start to wonder… do they really care about you? Seems like they don’t prioritise you… And you start to lose interest in making plans again.
Your desire to shelter them Is a desire to shelter yourself They don’t need your help They need your love
I was looking for fulfillment But really I was looking for aliveness It sent me searching Chasing, trying, failing Nothing fulfilled me Nothing gave me this elusive feeling Glimmers in the dark
Do you struggle to read poetry? Yeah, me too. I can’t do it. My eyes move over the words My mind gets bored There’s no inner voice No grand narration There’s just… silence
“The seed is as much the goal as the flower” - Alan Watts I love metaphors that are inspired by nature. They feel so right. And they’re so at odds with modern life. We’ve cut travel time from months to hours. Information from generations to an instant. We praise speediness and convenience. Yet there is so much intelligence in the slowness of nature and its interconnectedness. The aim of autumn is not to get to winter. It just is.
Miserable weather isn’t it? That’s what I heard when I sat down in the cafe I laughed instinctively and agreed We do like to rag on the weather here in Britain But then I added, actually, I thought it was rather beautiful Those little powder puffs of sleety snow They mesmerized me on my walk to town I’d been listening to a voice note from a friend and he was saying how important it is to pause and appreciate the moment you’re in
What is the hardest thing to do? Nothing. And I don’t mean the sort of nothing where you wake up five hours later, glued to a screen with crumbs on your clothes I mean nothing Not chasing Not distracting Not planning Or fantasising
so when did you first notice you were hearing things? what!? i said when did you notice you weren’t hearing things? oh i guess i haven’t yet