Love yourself

If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell can you love somebody else?

Wise words.

Except, throughout my 20s, I didn’t know how to love myself.

I had a fraught relationship with my mind, my body, and the parts of me that caused me shame. It felt like an internal battle going on.

It’s no wonder that I looked outside myself for love, whether from a partner, material possession or status that I thought would bring me the happiness I desired.

I would seek approval from others because I didn’t approve of myself.

I started meditating and going to therapy but at this stage these practices amplified awareness of my self-judgement and destructive patterns, rather than alleviated them.

I now know that this is normal a stage of growth.

As we start to develop our awareness, we go from unconsciously incompetent to consciously incompetent.

It’s a painful place to be.

But it’s a necessary step before we become consciously competent and correct our patterns.

Before we attain self-love, we need self-acceptance.

To not accept something is to deny what is.

And yet very often that’s how we relate to ourselves. We tell ourselves off for being a certain way. We fantasise that if we were slimmer, richer, or funnier, we would be happier.

We are everywhere except the present moment.

By consistently meditating, I was able to develop a healthier relationship with myself.

That’s why I’m passionate about sharing it with everyone I know.