Overthinker

i used to be a chronic overthinker

spending hours comparing models

if i bought a computer speaker

i would plan out conversations

and what directions to take them

while washing in the shower

not knowing how to do something

or how it would pan out

would be enough to paralyse me

see, i didn’t trust myself

worrying for the future

was believing i couldn’t handle it

but my mind is limited

a model for the world

running on windows xp

i let go of attachment to outcome

i can control my efforts

but not the fruits of it

i can plant a seedling

water it and make sure it’s sunlit

but i can’t grow it

dig it up too early

to inspect the roots

and i’ll kill it

now i experience gratitude

instead of expectation

grateful for whatever blooms

and the process of manifestation

now i trust the universe

and that whatever it is i need

is what i will receive

why fight against the currents

when i can let go

and just be