A year ago You adorned me with kisses And swallowed my voice

After the bell rings Everything seems so petty Washed away by God

All the lives I’ve lost Each captured in a snapshot Gone in a flash

Although I can’t breathe It feels safer in the dark Shame can’t find me here

As the dust settles And I turn over old words I grasp its meaning

Be wary of weeds Ideas bloom from seeds of thought And gardens turn wild

Behind your glass eyes A spotlight is magnified And cast upon life

Between the veil I watch your eyes and wonder To the other side

Blocked inner river Cascading to a pool of shame Darkness in the deep

Body pressed to chest Thighs wide open, blood pumping Muscles bulging, blue

Body shimmering Joy and loss, heart trembling Out poured everything

Bonfire vocals Rising up from molten earth Breaking through the crust

Bruised in sorrow Desert island treasures Unmapped by the heart

Canyon cutting through Ground I thought was permanent Heart I thought was true

Caught between two minds Seduced by the sensual Tamed irrational

Cause it likes puzzles My mind created problems Only it could solve

Champagne volcano Bubbling up from the depths Awakening my soul

Choking on regrets Everything that could have been Silenced by my hand

Circle of renewal Summer harvesting winter Fruit, leaves and soil

Clawing up mountains Fingers whittled to the bone Seeking horizons

Clouds brush aside blue Calling the wind to their backs As dawn breaks anew

Come back and haunt me I liked not feeling alone Now I just feel ghosted

Contours inside me Fingers walking the rails Seeing with my hand

Crackling fire logs Burning the chest open Pouring out their grief

Crumbling in public Decaying ancient ruins But more beautiful

Crystal bullet Shattering my illusion Reflecting myself

Cupped in the lake lands Our backs against the long grass Hearts wide to the sky

Dancing in the trees I caught my own reflection Flighty like a bird

Dandelion peaks Naked on the river bed Howling as she sets

Danger at the edge But the views are dazzling One foot on each earth

Dangling balcony Afraid the wind might blow me Afraid you wouldn’t see

Death spills a black ink Old words create new shapes Worlds reimagined

Deep, forgotten well I haven’t drawn your waters Scared of what’s below

Dizzy, overwhelmed Emails, deadlines and chitchat From another world

does it matter that the ocean stretches out with arms wide open and you sail right across it

Don’t argue their truth Simply experience yours And let it shine through

Drumming the waves I was there, here, everywhere Shallow in the sound

Dusk fell upon us The city stretching for sleep Final fantasy

Each moment passes A marriage of joy and grief Love and let go

Electric voltage Surging beyond my limit Unbearable joy

Electric wire The jolt sends me running Fear fences me in

Embers on fire My self-esteem returning Brightness in the dark

Enveloped in gold Warm smiles and old faces Paint peeling, worn time

Every bridge I’ve burnt Is a bonfire in my heart Dreaming of charcoal

Everything starts small The majesty of a tree Begins in soil

Exhausted like earth Weary in my bones and skin Hardly holding on

Eyes dragging to the ground Heavy burden of the face Vulnerable, unmasked

Eyes heavy with hope Sheltered from the rain - for now Lingering embrace

Falling from her eyes Tears of a young girl, mother Her young boy, leaving

Fear kept me from you While you watched patiently Back to the future

Feet on cold concrete Birds swoop through the canopy In my becoming

Flatlining, boredom Afraid of losing, closing Grappling, with bodies

Floating from heaven Snowflakes fall upon my tongue Clarity at last

Fluttering voices Joy magnetises bodies Echoing reply

Get out of your own way Leave the maze by going in Let go of the rules

Give up, the earth said Falling higher and higher Into the darkness

Glass wall between us Love is its own reflection Touch, the warm ocean

God turned a corner Sunlight skimming the water Calling harbour home

Gold poured over you In a moment of stillness Which my eyes could drink

Golden glazed our crowns An evernescent moment Overlooking hills

Hallway transitions Through unexpected doorways Into new spaces

Happiness is born In the cracks of broken hearts Bracing for new life

Heart in pincer grip Plucked like an arcade toy Too heavy to rise

Heat of the moment In the tightness of sauna I broke through myself

Heavy with despair Longing for resolution Probably in death

Here I am under My duvet covers under My body and skin

Holding space softly Hands cupping a baby bird Willing it to fly

I forgive myself For the pain I cause myself For being myself

i forgot her perimeter and now i walk solo across her desert

i found you again toying with design and art just where i’d left off

I knew I loved you But today I could feel it I hope you did too

I lost sight of you Emerging from the ocean Waves had broken you

I missed you today I was walking by myself In the fade of footprints

I saw in her eyes Starburst flowers in the sky A nighttime bouquet

I smell the flowers With my eyes while my lips kiss The present moment

I threw a stick He didn’t chase after it It’s been ten years

I try and fail I surrender and succeed Okay, I give up

I woke to a dream Snaking from head to tail And slept and slept

If my heart could sing You would hear its melody Parting from your lips

If you only knew How judgemental I was of you You’d judge me too

I’ll give you it all Let the tears and rivers flow Toward desert soul

I’m a free spirit Before this I was contained In my emptiness

I’m downshifting gears Body struggling uphill Numb numb goes anxious

I’m loving myself Creatively, exploring New, old, forgotten

In a flash of light Shooting pain that stole the sky Left like a comet

In dark closets Short of breath and room to move A young boy grows up

Inspiration strikes From the heavens to the earth And leaves in a flash

Invisible wall What are you that I’m feeling That my mind cannot see

It’s in those moments When a friend pulls back from life That you step forward

Landscape sculpturing Turning driftwood into dreams Inside a child breathes

Leave your warm blankets Said Marcus Aurelius Seize the day? No thanks

Light of love held us In the shadow of the hill Words where none were known

Lion was a cub Fear was a shadow puppet The story was mine

Love is found in loss Each heartbreak an opening Each end, beginning

Love sick and love lost Sun eclipsed and darkness was Innocence in light

Loving the feeling Crying in apology Years gone by

Melting in music The river used to drown me Look mum! I’m floating

Mental possession Stimulating regression Boring obsession

Mentos dropped in coke Reality, fantasy Ready to explode

Mirror world inside Where the echoes ring louder In the doorway home

My eyes are shut tight But I know that you are there Tiger of the night

My hands held in yours Each mask dropping to the floor Exposed and raw

My heart on show Stripped and under spotlight With nowhere to go

My life is rhyming And I’m dancing like a fool To the same damn tune

My mind gets focus If I lose myself - who wins? It’s a slot machine

My world in pieces Plane ride to the other side Only I remain

Nerves like guitar strings Plucked by your name, resonant Feeling discordant

Now invisible Castles litter the beach Time turning to sand

Nude under stage lights The dream you’re waking up to Rehearsing endings

Ocean to third eye Jewel along the thread of spine Feeling, alive

On my fourth spoonful I cried for the end of things While you ate your soup

Overwhelm feels A little bit like nothing Piled on top of me

part of me always shines when i see you

Particles of sound Waving across the church Merging into joy

Pebbles in a pond Each moment dropping away Leaving peace behind

Pendulum swinging Back to the weight of the past Forward, backward, grasp

Petals of my heart Under the vastness of sky Holding what was

Peter died last year And though I never met him I’ve seen his shadow

Pinned to the decking Heavy under grey clouds Others’ belonging

Pulled by naked thread Back to her quiet garden Where I lay unrooted

Pulling at my leg As I run to the finish line Little boy cries, “wait!”

Put pen to paper And let the ink spill like blood Until it heals

Red rocks in my throat My voice drowning in the waves Yet you still hear me

Repetition kills novelty Gratitude becomes expectation Magic, mundane

Rest is best in bed Where the clouds pass softly Pillows under head

Ridges on seashells Sand dunes and cresting blue waves Fingerprints of God

Rock pooling at night With their head torches turned on Gazed upon by stars

Rocking with each wave Losing direction and speed Pulled apart by breeze

Seeing through her eyes Abstraction discoloured My hands red with guilt

Self-medication My shelves are stacked with self-help Cause I can’t help myself

Sex in my skin Under the covers of flesh Where pleasure begins

Shadow games up high Walking the lines of last year In here - not out there

Shaking indignant Everything I left behind For this little life

Shame hides from me Like sunlight in the wind Burning invisibly

Shame I shouldn’t feel Fear I’ll fall forever Back into the black

Shavings of light grey Protected by canopy Watching rainbows grow

She looks upon him Radiant mother and son Turning his cheeks gold

Shoes off and shaded Amongst the urban chaos Green grass oasis

Shrinking inside me Connecting to nobody Waiting to be seen

Shrouded in darkness Memories with no picture Barely a feeling

Singing became me And I didn’t doubt myself I was free at last

Sitting in sunlight Bathing in the sounds of birds Turning outside-in

Small amongst bent trees Whispering they knew me In distant memory

Smile, it’s ok You keep talking, I don’t leave So I float away

Soft on the pine leaves Footprints with no direction Lost, together lost

Soil burnt by sky I leant in close next to you Swallowed up by fear

Some poems are pretty Some poems are short Haikus are pretty short

Sparklers in my hands My toes, my belly and heart Creating again

Spiders on the skin Brush one off but it lingers Pin pricks all over

Squeeze out perfection Soft body becomes brittle No toothpaste, no luck

Stairways in nature Humans in kaleidoscope Vortices collapse

Stars separated In the ocean of space Blinded by their own light

Steam rising inside Boiling over into rain Running downstream

Stones and spiral shells Old tails and ghostly songs Washed up beaches

Stroking the ceiling I carry it to the car Bye, bug ridden plant

Sugar snap river Meditating on pressure Red ball of fire

Sun struck the rain drops Sky ablaze with fireflies He danced among grace

Sunsets, tears streaming Screaming down the motorway I was abandoning me

Swiping, my blood boils Swiping, I can’t look away Swiping, I refresh

Taking off wet clothes Settling by the fire Drying out the past

Tangled under limbs Breaking free in a cry No longer a boy

Teardrop on your cheek Your pain is too much for me Our past is history

Tender hand holding Across the coffee table Writing my story

The clouds had come To reveal the warmth of light And forgotten sun

The dam burst open Old songs pouring over me Fresh and trembling

The end of Fitzroy Bright lights, loud noise and peacocks I’ll miss you. You won’t

The flower whispered I love you, I love you not As each petal dropped

The light switched back on I can see where I’m going With eyes turned inwards

the sun is the fire we gather around at night

The unknown is beautiful She said to me With a tender smile

There is just today Don’t think about your lifetime It’s too far away

They say we grow up But really we grow out And play hide and seek

Thick, heavy and slow Rain outside the window No body, never mind

This heavy blanket Draped around my shoulders Depression at night

Tied up in ribbons Words catch fire together Poetry the ash

Tingling in my toe Swimming like fish in water Till I had to let go

Tiredness shields Heavy on subtle fields Beckoning backwards

To the right, with joy To the horizon and back In the room, standing

Torn between oceans My heart pulls against the wind Steering me back home

Torn open in two Feeling every drop of rain Pulling back from you

Trees roaring in the wind Raging at the injustice Swept up by the roots

Trembling little bird Wingless in the palm of hand Frightened by your flight

Tumbling white rapids Adrenaline in story Ascending new peaks

TV promises Commodified fantasy Hollowed out dreams

Under dazzling stars Eyes twinkling to the ocean A new earth is born

Walk with your eyes closed When there’s no map to follow And feel your way home

Walking on eggshells Friendships crushed under my feet Harvesting soil

Warm ocean of sound Surround the lost buoy floating Waves calling him home

We brushed past each other Your smile and soft voice warmed me Cold from the rain

We cried together In our own worlds, reaching out In butterfly creek

We doubt happiness But life is so much better When we doubt fear

Weary of our time Everything promised by night Switched off in a day

What body do I trust? This one? Or the frozen one? Where the past lives on

Where was I today When I sat behind the screen Control alt delete

Why are some flowers More beautiful Than others

Why do you deserve Everything I’ve tried to earn Everything I’m not

With lips in my heart I sang to hear myself speak Of sorrow and grief

Wobbling like the waves Resisting the fearful shore Anchored to the depths

Wolf cubs together Rising moon under blankets Watching fairy lights

Wolf of the full moon Howling at all I’ve wronged Longing to be loved

Wrong side of bed Hiding under covers Fuck the day, I said

Yarn ball connection Wrapped up like we knew each other One thread apart

Yellow cheek daisies Too much for the stars to hold Too little to know

Yesterday’s colour Bleeding chokehold collar Faceless, pale and grey

you hold yourself so tightly you’re longing to be seen but not looking at yourself

You made love to me Like we had a thousand lives Remembering us

You made my world big When the walls were closing in Horizontal passenger

You spoke through friends Urging me forward, gently Love on the lips of the wind

you’ll find it there where every other whispered god lives like a legend