The nothing where boredom resides

What is the hardest thing to do?

Nothing.

And I don’t mean the sort of nothing where you wake up five hours later, glued to a screen with crumbs on your clothes

I mean nothing

Not chasing

Not distracting

Not planning

Or fantasising

The nothing where boredom resides

The nothing where you feel unworthy

Where something must be proved

It’s the slowness of long breaths

Of turning down invitations

Of noticing the desire to be anywhere but here

Nothing is where you are

It’s where you’re going

It’s where life finally has a chance to meet you

To bring up the buried

And dissolve light in dark

It’s quiet and confronting

It’s the place

Where fear can be conquered

Its not a thing to be held

But a letting go of all things

It’s the pause

Before the big bang