A day becomes an opera

There is something magical about slowing down

Little moments take on much more meaning

A day becomes an opera

A setting is drama

Rather than background noise

I had the urge to light a fire today

Even though the rain had cleared away

And the sun shone through the window like liquid silver

Creatively assembling a pyre

Tending to the flames

Within an hour the room had warmth that a blanket could have brought

But I could melt into it rather than be separated by it

I lay down on the floor

And reflected on the last few days

In a way that can only happen when there’s nothing else to do

No jobs

No desires

Just a quiet being

Sinking peacefully into boredom and watching thoughts emerge

Like fireworks in the mind

And then I remembered that I had some crisps

And I poured them into a bowl to share with my flatmate

And as I ate them

My tongue remembered my savouring

Recognising the desire for more

Never satisfied with what is

Each little crisp a time jump

And occasionally I would come back

Riding the flavour to now

Realising how much I grasp on anything else

Hooked on the dopamine of anticipation

Rather than the experience of now

I wondered if it’s possible that I crave what I could have had

That I get off on the possibility of what could have been

So I create more opportunities to miss it

And that’s OK

I can relish that feeling

Without having to do that