Ignite your passion - guide
Everyone deserves to wake up feeling energised, knowing that the day ahead is something to look forward to.
You (yep, you!) are capable of doing so much, of having a positive impact on the world, of feeling self-assured and excited.
Perhaps you have big dreams. Or perhaps you’re unsure of what direction to take. Regardless, it’s not about just finding a job that fuels you instead of drains you. It’s about igniting your passion and creating a life that fires you up every single day.
The techniques described in this guide transformed my life and I’m excited to share them with you. I cannot wait for you to experience a life full of passion too! ❤️🔥
⚠️ Make a copy of this guide so you can add your own notes. Just tap the little duplicate icon in the top right. You can access Notion for free.
👀 There are 7 sections to this guide… Tick them off as you go!
- 👩💻 Introduction
- 🫶 Wants and needs
- 🌻 Identify your values
- 🍒 Energy mapping
- 🎨 Childhood clues
- 😾 Follow your envy
- 🌘 Exploring your shadow
- ✍️ Next steps
👩💻 Introduction
Feeling drained, bored, and stuck was a feature of my life throughout my 20s. After the excitement of early career success and pay rises wore off, I felt empty. I knew that my job wasn’t right for me but I didn’t know what else to do.
I was desperate for a sense of meaning but it was nowhere to be found. I would start a new hobby, like playing the piano, get excited for a few weeks and then drop it. I would spend my spare time watching Netflix, socialising, but without any real interests. Without knowing what my passion was, I felt like I didn’t know what career to pursue. I was worried I would be stuck in a job that just paid the bills and left me feeling drained.
Since then, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery. The last five years have sent me across the world, through different careers and hobbies, and with tens of thousands of dollars spent on courses, workshops and programs. I’ve found passion in meditation, poetry, singing, and coaching and it’s led to the most beautiful and balanced life that I could have imagined. In this guide I share all of the best tools and reflections that will help you to uncover your passion.
What is passion?
There are a lot of misconceptions about passion. We think that some people are born with certain talents, that passion strikes like a lightning bolt, and that it’s not possible to make a career out of your passion because it will suck the life out of it. Let’s explore some of these ideas.
Passion is a strong feeling or enthusiasm, which means it’s essential to tune into the body to notice it. It’s about learning what lights you up, what brings you joy, energy, and enters you into flow state.
Passion starts as an ember. We all have embers, potentially many of them, but we have to pay attention to find them. Perhaps cooking dinner is a real source of joy for you but it doesn’t occur to you that this hints at a passion - maybe for cooking, maybe for creativity, maybe for presentation, maybe for sharing your love with others.
The process of finding your passion is like looking for clues, little heat signatures of embers. When we find them, we have to fan them into flames. This means consistent practice and dedication to exploring an interest through curiosity. Over time, these flames become stronger and stronger and become self-sustaining until eventually your whole life is absorbed by it.
When we look at superstars like Michael Jordan, we think that passion must have struck like a lightning bolt. But it didn’t. It grew from an ember into a bright and burning flame through hard work and commitment. Passion grew every time he stepped onto the basketball court as a child, every time he practiced when he felt tired or sick.
You see, the latin roots of the word passion is suffering. As in, the passion of the Christ. Passion is not just roses and rainbows, it’s about dedicating your life to something bigger than yourself. There is no greater life than one in service of a passion and of the greater good of others. This is where meaning and life fulfilment really comes from. Your passion could become your career but it can also be something that you do on the side. There are no rules.
This guide will help you uncover the embers of passion inside of you. Perhaps they have been dormant. Perhaps you have nurtured one or some over time but they haven’t caught on fire yet. Perhaps you are completely clueless. Just know that as with falling in love, there are many opportunities for you to explore. At a certain point, you may decide to choose and commit to one or to many. But for now the focus is on exploration.
How to use this guide
Within each section is a series of self-reflection exercises. Consider these like journal prompts. We’ll look at your values, your past, your energy levels and other techniques so that you’ll be able to identify the clues to your passion.
To get the most out of this guide, set aside an hour or two to answer all of the questions. Write as detailed responses as you can and be deeply introspective. If you don’t want to write the answers, you could record yourself talking aloud.
Think about how much time you might commit to a work project where the outcome doesn’t directly benefit you. It’s worth spending some real effort on this process - on your life - so that you can live with intention. The more you put in, the more you’ll get out!
Alright, let’s begin.
🫶 Wants and needs
Understanding your basic wants and needs gives you the foundations on which to build a life of passion.
We are all a unique combination of traits. Some of us are extroverts and are drawn to large crowds and the stage. Some of us are quiet and contemplative and we need our own time and space. Some of us love creating things and get bored when an idea has come to fruition. Some of us love building processes and scaling ideas up into something even bigger.
We must develop an understanding of who we are, otherwise we will pursue things because we feel like we ‘should’. This leads to a loss of self (and this is why I was so out of tune with my passion).
Begin by answering these questions:
To feel well mentally / emotionally I need…
e.g. deep meaningful friendships, creative expression, regular exercise
To feel well financially I need…
e.g. stable monthly income, ability to buy organic groceries, 3 months expenditure savings
When do you feel most alive?
e.g. when I go for a swim, working up against the clock to a deadline, playing with my children
If you could achieve one thing in this life, what would it be?
e.g. write a NY times bestselling novel
On a scale of 1-5, how do you rate your current satisfaction with these areas of your life?
| | 1 😭 | 2 😔 | 3 🙂 | 4 😄 | 5 🤩 | | — | — | — | — | — | — | | Personal life / Family | | | | | | | Career / Studies | | | | | | | Friends / Community | | | | | | | Relaxation / Hobbies / Creativity | | | | | | | Physical health / Fitness | | | | | | | Mental health / Self-knowledge | | | | | |
🌻 Identify your values
So we’ve done a little assessment of your needs and wants. Now let’s dig deeper and explore what really drives you.
Brené Brown is an expert researcher on values. Her studies have shown that we all have different values that are important to us, and that the most fulfilled lives are those where values align with behaviour.
When we know our values, we have the makings of an inner compass that points the direction of our life. For example, I know that I value openness and connection. To feel lit up, I need relationships that foster these qualities. When I feel disconnected, I feel down. That’s why I’ve spent time building a life around these values so that I feel energised.
In her book Dare To Lead, Brené provides a list of 100 of the most common values.
Look at this list below and highlight all of the values that resonate with you.
Try to limit yourself to 10-20 and mark any that seem particularly important to you.
Values
Accountability Achievement Activism Adaptability Adventure Altruism Ambition Authenticity Balance Beauty Being the best Being a good sport Belonging Career Caring Co-creation Collaboration Commitment Community Compassion Competence Confidence Connection Contentment Contribution Cooperation Cooperation Courage Creativity Curiosity
Dignity Diversity Efficiency Environment Equality Ethics Excellence Fairness Faith Family Financial stability Forgiveness Freedom Friendship Fun Future generations Generosity Giving back Grace Gratitude Growth Harmony
Health Heritage Home Honesty Hope Humility Humor Inclusion
Independence Initiative Integrity Intuition Job security Joy Justice Kindness Knowledge Leadership Learning Legacy Leisure Love Loyalty Making a difference Nature Nature Openness Optimism Order Parenting Patience Patriotism Peace Perseverance Personal fulfilment Power Pride Recognition
Reliability Resourcefulness Respect Responsibility Risk-taking Security Self-discipline Self-expression Self-respect Serenity Service Simplicity Spirituality Stewardship Success Teamwork Thrift Time Tradition Travel Trust Truth Understanding Uniqueness Usefulness Vision Vulnerability Wealth Wellbeing Wholeheartedness Wisdom
Looking at the list of values you highlighted, what are the key themes that tie them together?
e.g. I notice that a lot of my values are about helping others. Perhaps this is because…
Now choose just two core values that are the most important to you.
These are the values that define you. They are who you are at your best. A filter you use to make hard decisions.
What more could you do to embody value #1
e.g. I could spend more time with my family by…
What more could you do to embody value #2
e.g. I could take more risks, for instance…
🍒 Energy mapping
OK! Now, I’m going to ask for a little bit of commitment here but I promise this will be well worth your time. Of all the exercises I’ve done, this has been one of the most valuable.
Everyone desires more energy. However, few people consciously reflect on what creates energy and what depletes it. What’s the truth of what depletes you and nourishes you? We’re all very different. The answer resides in your body and how you feel.
By observing your physical state throughout the next week, you can start to identify what activities are energizing. This is a clue about your passion.
For each day for the next week, reflect and take note of when you felt energised and when you felt depleted.
You might like to do this throughout the day or at the end of it. Really pay attention to how you feel in your body. Look for sensations like excitement or fatigue.
| Gave me energy | Depleted my energy | |
|---|---|---|
| Day 1 | e.g. reading a book in the morning, speaking to Sarah about ancient civilizations, morning workout | e.g. rushing in late to work, sat in meetings for 2 hours back to back, big lunch left me feeling sleepy, argument with Sam |
| Day 2 | ||
| Day 3 | ||
| Day 4 | ||
| Day 5 | ||
| Day 6 | ||
| Day 7 |
At the end of the week, write your observations below. Are there any patterns?
e.g. I notice that a lot of my experiences feeling drained relate to work, perhaps…
🎨 Childhood clues
We’re really getting some insights into potential embers now! How about we look a little to the past?
Over time, we lose touch with who we once were. Especially as we make our way through education, we are conditioned to be a certain way. We learn to pursue the things that are valued by society, such as academic achievement and financial success. This unconscious pursuit of validation distorts the way we behave and we lose touch with what we actually want.
How many times have you been strung along for promotion or a role change believing that would lead to happiness and then in the end things feel the same? That’s because we’re disconnected from our true essence.
Unlike adults, children act out of innate instinct, not learned behaviour. Our childhood was a representation of our purest selves, before the beliefs of society conditioned us. We were able to be in the moment, valuing play above all else, and had no regard for consequences.
All of this points towards our passion.
What activities did you lose track of time doing as a child?
e.g. building lego…
What subjects, hobbies or interests were you naturally drawn to?
e.g. horses and animal care…
Were there any dreams or aspirations you had as a child that you’ve since forgotten or put aside?
e.g. being an astronaut
😾 Follow your envy
Now here’s an exercise that may make you feel uncomfortable. And that’s a good thing.
Generally we don’t like to feel envy. People feel like it’s kind of like a taboo. But actually, envy is very instructive because envy tells us something about desire. When you are envious of someone or something or some experience, that’s a clue to what might be enjoyable for you.
I feel myself get envious about certain successful people. But I realise that this is a signpost. It’s showing me that they have the life I’d like to have. Learning that someone else’s success does not limit the opportunity for you to enjoy it to helps to break through those feelings.
List three people that make you feel envious or jealous.
e.g. Michael Jordan
What traits, characteristics or things do these people possess that you do not?
e.g. intense focus
How would your life be different if you embodied these traits?
e.g. I would dream bigger for myself and…
🌘 Explore your shadow
Last exercise! We’re going to excavate from the parts of us that we’ve rejected.
We tend to have very binary ideas about who we are and who we are not. We define ourselves based on past experience, patterns of behaviour and the opinions of others. e.g. “I’m punctual. I’m not inconsiderate,” or “I’m shy in social settings. I’m not loud and brash”.
The mind tends to see things in a binary way because it helps with categorisation. By labelling things we make sense of the world. The problem is that we end up with a very limited view of ourselves and we lie about the darker aspects of ourselves so that we can hold onto a coherent story.
What is the shadow?
As babies, we feel unconditional love. It doesn’t matter whether we make a lot of noise or mess, we know that we will still be loved and safe. However, as we grow into young children and start communicating, we start to learn the boundaries of love. If we act in a certain way, we find ourselves punished or told off. We see these behaviours as unlovable and so repress them because our primary concern is safety.
Over time, we develop a shadow: the parts of ourselves that we have repressed. Very often we judge people who display these repressed characteristics. For instance, somewhere along the way I learned not to be the centre of attention because it was ‘attention-seeking’. I repressed this behaviour and felt that people who did it were too dominant.
We need to integrate these repressed parts of ourselves to find our full self-expression and our passion. If you’re feeling stuck in your life right now, exploring your shadow could be a big unlock for you.
Who are three people you despise, dislike and think are wrong?
e.g. Donald Trump
What traits, characteristics or things do you not like about these three people and why?
e.g. self-aggrandising
Explore these traits from a different perspective and explain how they could be positive.
e.g. he speaks with conviction which helps to influence people
✍️ Next steps
Amazing work! The final step is to put this all together.
Review all of your notes and identify the areas that jump out to you. Maybe you notice a sense of excitement in your body. You might feel yourself lean forward. Or there’s this real sense of curiosity about something.
Pay attention to these sensations and answer the questions below.
What interests or traits are you curious to explore?
e.g. I realise now that I find being in nature to be very energising…
What assumptions about yourself do you want to test?
e.g. I thought that I wasn’t analytical but now I realise that…
What actions are you going to take?
e.g. I’m going to join a club to help with public speaking…
How will you hold yourself accountable?
e.g. I’m going to commit to going every week…
Great stuff. It takes time and effort to go through these exercises and by doing so you’ve proven to yourself how committed you are to building a life that lights you up.
Now that you have some embers, go out there and start fanning the flames. Follow your curiosity and see where it takes you. Good luck, I’m here for you if you want to chat @elifreemanlife on IG or www.elifreeman.co
🔥 Want to go deeper? Schedule a free introductory coaching session with me. We can go through this guide together and map out a vision for 2024 that will transform your career and life without sacrificing your lifestyle. Book your free call here
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