How to stop caring what people think

I’ve been running a workshop as per the title.

There’s a lot of content to share around it, but here are the key takeaways:

🧠 1. Undo your conditioning

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: if you want to let go of the fear of being judged, you need to stop judging others.

It sounds counter-intuitive but think about it. How many times have you silently criticised someone for speaking up, being the centre of attention, taking up space, or getting on stage?

You’ll never put yourself out there if you continue to judge others because deep down you’ll fear that you’ll be judged in the same way.

That voice in your head has absorbed all of the fears, thoughts, and judgements of your environment. This is your conditioning. You only have to look at a young child to see how pure you once were.

We’re going to spend some time de-weeding your mind, pulling out limiting beliefs and planting new ideas.

🧭 2. Find your inner compass

Why do we care so much about what other people think anyway?

Well, it’s deeply embedded in us to be social creatures. Being expelled from the group would have meant certain death and as such we fear social exclusion. But in today’s information-dominated world, our nervous system reacts to thoughts as if they are actual threats against our life. It’s no wonder we feel so anxious and activated.

We’ve been conditioned through our schooling and career to seek external validation as a way of finding status and security. Think about grades, job titles, the pagentry of awards ceremonies. But seeking approval from others can send us on the wrong path in life because we end up doing what we think we ‘should’ do.

We need to shift from external to internal validation. We need to create our own values-based system. When we live according to our values, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about us.

🥰 3. Befriend yourself

Do you criticise yourself when you’re not good at something new?

Do you beat yourself up when you fail?

Do you judge the way you sing or dance or look in the morning?

Can you imagine if you said those things to your closest friend?

Wouldn’t you encourage them, tell them that it’s alright, that they’re doing their best?

We need to learn how to treat ourselves as we would a good friend.

An inherent problem in the self-help industry is the implication that there is something to improve, that you are not enough. But the paradox is that you cannot change yourself until you have learnt to accept yourself.

In the workshop we’ll explore how to cultivate self-acceptance and self-compassion so that you feel motivated and uplifted on the journey to self-actualisation.

🦋 4. Go into the growth zone

You can read the whole self-help section in the bookstore, watch every spiritual video on YouTube, and go to bed listening to Joe Dispenza.

But you will keep going round in circles in your life if all you do is consume information.

You need to turn information into wisdom through experience. You need to embody the change.

This means going outside of your comfort zone, trying new things, and experimenting. Only by doing this will you encourage your nervous system to widen its window of tolerance.

You may encounter ‘imposter syndrome’ as you step into a more authentic life. But know that it’s not a syndrome. It’s the imposter stage.

We’ll go through strategies for you to transform confidently and stop caring what anybody thinks.