How to see the filters through which we see life

We all have filters through which we see the world. And it’s our life’s work to peel them away until we are left in direct contact with reality as it is.

A filter is a belief that distorts how we receive information. For instance, we could believe that being angry is a sign of aggression. Therefore, when we see this emotion in someone, it might trigger us to be defensive or to question the other person’s intentions. Any sign of anger inside ourselves could be repressed or denied and we may avoid situations that evoke it.

Filters are simply adaptive survival strategies.

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As children, we try to make sense of reality (which, even for an adult is beyond comprehension). If we are angry and we get told off for expressing it by shouting, we learn that it is not an allowable emotion. This triggers our fear of social isolation, which is instinctual because we are so dependent on others to survive at a young age.

And so we walk around life and brush against its edges. A sharp emotional response, whether from a telling off, bullying, or rejection is enough to let us know the contours in which we can exist.

We organise reality through these adaptive survival strategies. And filters layer one on top of the other.

But just as a child should eventually let go of their training wheels and ride a bicycle with no support, so too should we let go of our filters as we mature.

That’s be cause every filter takes energy to hold onto. We have to create new and ever more complex stories to make sense of reality within them. We have to live with cognitive dissonance as we ignore evidence that points to the contrary. They constrict us and limit what’s possible in our lives.

Of course, filters by their nature are invisible to us. They are like feather-light glasses that we have forgotten we are wearing.

To reveal them requires self-enquiry. Pay attention to the stories that you tell yourself about the world and your life. Question when you feel triggered by something that someone has said. Notice your repeating patterns and the excuses you tell yourself.

Make direct contact with reality without the layers of story and labelling.