i have three onions
i live in a castle and i have three onions they are my children i look after them one of them is ready to go to school but im not ready yet to let him go we’ve done a lot of construction work so now we have a slide and there big tassels that hang from every room personally i find it a little gauche but you know how it is with children it’s taken a lot of my energy to raise them and i wonder what life would have been like if i had followed my dreams and bravely stepped forward into my fears i could have been an astronaught but i made the wrong decisions when i was 7 its been downhill since then i was too naiive i thought the world could be a brighter place i thought we would do something about climate change that was 25 years ago when i was reading about hydrogen fuel cells and the greenhouse effect i used to design tanks for my friends dad who apparently took them into a safe in the ministry of defence i believed him for a long time my friend also said his uncle was darth vader and that his other uncle was a weapons dealer for some reason i believed all of these things maybe thats what you do when when you’re a child why would you deny someone tell them they’re lying unless they’re your sister and they’ve stolen from your brother but told your mum it was you but thats not a specific example im just spitballing anyway back to my children who i worry about what will their world look like in 25 years are they ready for lifes challenges? if anyone dares cut them i’ll make them cry i scream from my window ENOUGH this wind is incessant and i can barely hear the windchime over the sound of cracking thunder when will my sweet prince arrive the one i read about in children’s books the land of magic and mystery and possibility when my whole life spread out across the horizon like an ancient ocean that beckoned me to her shores now my life feels small as though a snowglobe in the palm of someone else hand i long for the past simpler times when i knew less and i didnt crave so much it seems ive done everything to reclaim that feeling but i judge myself for it because it doesnt stack up not to how everyone else is and i feel sad i feel like no one understands me that they see just one part of me or maybe a few but never the whole thing is that lifes great sadness? that we could spend all our waking hours looking for wholeness as though it were the ocean