Focus on the breath
Sleep paralysis at night Effort paralysis by day I feel a little trapped in my body today I told myself it would be a day off But I feel guilty about doing nothing So then I punish myself as I go about doing what I said I was going to be doing today Maybe I only feel worthy when I am doing something Just being is not permitted I should be doing something better with my time I should be being creative I should be practicing some skill I should have some sort of passion that screams at me until I do it But I don’t have that I feel a dull ache A desire to do something deep down That I suffocate in the noise of my mind So that I don’t feel like I'm resting I feel like I'm holding myself back Funny that on days like this I drag up all of my negative thinking I wrap myself in it like I spoon myself under my bed covers Maybe it's comforting Maybe it's easier than facing the reality of life A reality that I keep questioning That I don’t feel prepared for Just how am I spending my time? Why does it feel so unworthwhile? Why do I think I should be anything more than I am? Why do I look at regular people, and call them the masses Not me, not I No I look at this group from the outside, surely I try not to resent the successful Try not to associate it to fortunate programming Try to return control of my life to myself Try to relax Elliot This is a day off You've been working hard the last few days I know you go hard on yourself You don’t allow yourself to breathe The only thing that gets me through sleep paralysis Is the same thing that will get me through this day Breathe Just focus on the breath